Church & Community

You know how it is. When you spend time looking at photographs from the past, you remember specific events—the birth of a child, a birthday party, a three-pointer, a winning hit, a wedding, a family Christmas….

Cindy and I treasure our photo albums, both print and digital.

At funeral services I often remind families of the treasure that is theirs—the pictures, the family albums, the memories. That’s what photographs do; they remind us of specific moments in life. They pick a day, an incident, and then freeze it for us. Click! Singular events along the way of life.

But there are other pictures too. Portraits. Oils and watercolors. And they aren’t done in an instant. They grow under the care and direction of the artist. Portraits can tell us more about a person than a picture ever can.

Experts say, when done by a great artist, they show us not only what a person looks like at a particular moment, but also what he was and what she’s becoming. I like that!

I’d like to think that we are all still growing. Not human beings, but human “becomings,” as it were.

Some may not appreciate Picasso’s work, because they don’t look much like the people we know. He once painted the portrait of Gertrude Stein, an American author who lived in France.  Stein liked it, and she told him so.

But one critic said, “That doesn’t look much like Gertrude Stein!” “Don’t worry!” Picasso told him. “Someday it will! I’ve caught the essence of Gertrude Stein, and more and more, this is who she’s becoming!”

Even though we remain the same persons from beginning to end, from birth to death, we’re constantly changing, growing, extending ourselves in new ways. Life is meant to be such a journey—a story unfolding.

Portraits of God, the Great Artist, don’t happen overnight. When we can look back over a life well-lived, or even one which was full of twists and turns, it is a wonderful thing when we see all the surprising ways in which God was making us better than we ever thought we could be.

When I stand to offer final words for one whom we have loved, that is a good story to tell, a beautiful picture to behold.

No matter how difficult the relationship is now…No matter how far away a better experience seems to be….  There is help.

One of the more enjoyable aspects of the pastorate is the time I spend in pre-marital counseling.  It’s always fun to spend a few hours with wide-eyed, optimistic spouses to be! It’s thrilling to lead the “engaged” couple in conversation about their families of origin, the principles of communication, the differences of personality and temperament, and such.  We laugh and pray, plan and anticipate.  It’s all good!

The truth is that the burst of energy present at the start of marriage is often replaced by a fair amount of disappointment and frustration later on.

And it’s not only true in marriage.

We get accustomed to emotional distance, secret griping, and the restless dissatisfaction that characterizes too many of the relationships in our lives.

Here’s where I hope that we could remember Christ’s teaching regarding the quality of relationships: “As I have loved you, so you must love one another” (John 13:34).  In other words, the way I relate to others is the pattern you need to study and imitate, says Jesus.

In fact, at the core of any great marriage, family, friendship, team, or mentoring relationship we find people relating to one another in ways Jesus modeled for us.

I’ve seen it before, haven’t you?

• Maybe in a marriage that isn’t simply surviving but truly thriving.
• Perhaps a unique bond between a parent and child.
• Maybe the winning dynamic between members of a team or best friends, or a set of siblings.
• It might even be an unusually life-giving link between a student and a teacher.

Remember—no matter how difficult the relationship is now…no matter how far away a better experience seems to be… God can help you.  It’s not going to happen overnight. But it can happen.  God—through trained counselors, pastors and friends—can provide the principles, practices, and strength you need to get you where you want to go.

You can!

There’s no denying that the church is changing right before our eyes.  George Barna comments on the significance of these trends on his blog site, www.georgebarna.com.  This comes shortly after the release of his newest book, Futurecast, which examines national trends in a wide array of areas including family, lifestyles, entertainment, technology, values, attitudes, demographics, and media consumption, in addition to religious beliefs and behaviors.

 An examination of six religious behaviors tracked over the past 20 years among American adults shows that five of the six experienced statistically significant changes during that time frame.

• Bible reading undertaken during the course of a typical week, other than passages read while attending church events, has declined by five percentage points. Currently an estimated 40% of adults read the Bible during a typical week.
• Church volunteerism has dropped by eight percentage points since 1991. Presently, slightly less than one out of every five adults (19%) donates some of their time in a typical week to serving at a church.
• Adult Sunday school attendance has also diminished by eight percentage points over the past two decades. On any given Sunday, about 15% of adults can be expected to show up in a Sunday school class.
• The most carefully watched church-related statistic is adult attendance. Since 1991, attendance has receded by nine percentage points, dropping from 49% in 1991 to 40% in 2011.
• The most prolific change in religious behavior among those measured has been the increase in the percentage of adults categorized as unchurched. The Barna Group definition includes all adults who have not attended any religious events at a church, other than special ceremonies such as a wedding or funeral, during the prior six-month period. In 1991, just one-quarter of adults (24%) were unchurched. That figure has ballooned by more than 50%, to 37% today.

The only behavior that did not experience any real change was the percentage of adults who attend a church of 600 or more people.

Question:  What do you think this tells us about the church today?

A fellow Mt. Carmelite stopped by the church office to show me her car—new to her, a great looking, low-mileage ’05.  One of the cool things about our community is we recognize each other by the car we drive.  We throw up a hand or nod as we meet on the road.  She wanted to be sure I would recognize her in the new wheels she was driving!

Pre-owned cars often are marked by the tag “AS IS”—a way of saying anything from “you may find an irregularity” to “we’re not going to tell you where the flaw is, but if and when you find it, don’t coming whining to us!”  It’s a fair warning.  Take it as it is!

When it comes to church and, and all relationships, the same applies.  We are an “AS IS” market.  Think about your marriage, family, and close circle of friends.  Think about your neighbors and co-workers.  It’s true in our church and community as well.

Every person we know is “irregular.”  There are flaws in every one of us.  If you are looking for the perfect person…well, good luck on that.  We all wear the tag, “AS IS.”

It is especially true when it comes to the church.  Admittedly, many, if not most, people have simply dismissed the church.  They are staying away in droves.  In the opinion of many, the church is full of judgmental hypocrites.

And those who are looking for a church live under the illusion that somewhere out there is a “perfect” one, a normal one, maybe even a church without flaws.

I guess everybody would prefer a church like that.  But there is no such thing.  Not Mt. Carmel, not any church.  As I’ve heard my dad say many times, “People are weird, aren’t “we?”

One of the great marks of maturity is to accept the fact that everybody comes “AS IS.” 

I certainly do!

Question: How could the church communicate that “AS IS” message more effectively?  What would the church look like?